She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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