My friends, they love my intelligence
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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