yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
