Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
