We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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