4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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