just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
