someone get that fucking seahorse.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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