I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
