My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
