we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
