friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
