similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
