She's like a pop up book from hell.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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