I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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