where am i from again
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
