Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
