I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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