3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
