I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
