Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
