DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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