CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
