Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
