soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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