I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No subtext here. People are naked.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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