remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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