God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
