i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
