How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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