Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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