I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There r osticjed everywhere
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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