im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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