is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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