Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
