She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
