hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fuck appropriateness.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
