Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
