I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
