Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
