I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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