A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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