I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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