The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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