'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
