what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize