i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
