Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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