dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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