Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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