You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize