So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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