He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
