I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
