You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
