Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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