I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
