Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
